i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm getting married
To pizza
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
