It's Friday. Sex?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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