I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
