absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
