You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
