I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
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Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
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you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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