I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
