I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize