she kept yelling 'call me bella'
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
