At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize