I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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