Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I wear drunk well.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
