You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
