If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
