Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
