PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
