I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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