Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
