She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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