I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
