all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
