Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
