Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize