Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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