I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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