Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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