stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
