Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
