my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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