This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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