Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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