If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
