i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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