Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
