Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I look better un-naked...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
