She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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