Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
