I can tuck mytits in my pants
I could make wine with my vomit
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize