is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
