That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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