My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
