I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
