he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize