have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
