got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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