Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
