i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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