Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i already hear my dad disowning me

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(214): View more from Texas

they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.

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(850): View more from Florida

Please dont jizz on my ds screen.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(514): View more from Quebec

Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank

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(602): View more from Arizona

UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.

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(509): View more from Washington

Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish

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(216): View more from Ohio

I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!

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(541): View more from Oregon

After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.

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