i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
That's an oxymoron.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER