this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.