Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.