I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I love having hate sex.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.