Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do