Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?