marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
