just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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