Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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