And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
