he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just puked most of my soul out..
There's even glitter on my cock...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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