Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
