Small penises have feelings too.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
