I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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