um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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