Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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