There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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