No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
